By Shelby Cain
I have a December baby. Three turned four in December. So technically, she’s ready for kindergarten in September. I’m having a very hard time with this. While I will admit that a small part of the problem may be my desperate desire to have my last baby home with me a little while longer - in the afternoons only of course - the larger part of the problem is that when I watch her interact with kids born in the beginning of the year, I’m not sure she’s ready. The chasm of development and maturity that occurs between these early years is like the Grand Canyon. Obvious even from space. I realize this is not the case for every child. Some December babies are ready. And I know she still has half a year to grow and mature and gain the skills she’ll need academically and socially to forge into a full day of kindergarten. But what’s the rush?
If you know me, then I have probably asked you lately if you or your kids have later birthdays, and if so, what’s your experience been? I’m slightly obsessed. There are tons of books and articles on the subject, which leaves me with some sense of validation. At least I’m not the only one struggling with this. I’ve spoken to parents who wish they would’ve held their kids back. I’ve talked to grown men who had a later birthday and always felt they were playing catch up with their peers. But the other side of the coin is, what’s wrong with a bit of a challenge? In our lifetime we face a lot of challenges, and the ability to thrive in the face of them is priceless. Why not start young? Without challenge comes boredom, which isn’t great either. So here I am, standing at a crossroads between teaching her it’s okay to back down from challenges, or potentially destroying her confidence.
Once again, parenting is harder than I ever expected it to be. I just want her to be happy, and I know she’s got the basics down. Most of us learn them pretty young. Be kind. Share. Surround yourself with people who love you. Don’t let anyone take your sunshine away. When I think back on mistakes I’ve made in my life - some of which still make me shudder - most of the time I knew better, but did the opposite. I can’t begin to tell you why. But I don’t think a little more confidence would’ve been a bad thing. So maybe giving our kids more time to stew in themselves before sending them out into the world, or in this case kindergarten, wouldn’t be a bad thing. Maybe.