The Parent Trip

By Shelby Cain


To have or not to have…a third child.  That is the question.  My question.  That I get asked all the time.

Answer?  I have no idea.  How do you just sit down and decide if you want to create another human or not?  Seems a little God-like, doesn’t it?  Or maybe mad scientist…depending on the kid.  Most of my friends have three kids.  They all say once you have two you’re so used to being in a constant state of motion, what’s one more?  I say “Ha!”

I think number of kids is in direct proportion to level of crazy.  Good crazy…or at least funny crazy.  There’s no way you can just sneak one in there undetected.  Here’s the thing.  My two-year-old will be three in just a few short months, and I’ve got to tell you…it’s getting good.  I would never be so bold as to say easy.  That’s like saying your team’s going to win the Stanley Cup.

You start making proclamations like that and they’ll lose five straight before you know what hit you.  No, I wouldn’t do that to myself.  It would probably kick-start Two having an epic public nudity phase or something.  Let’s just say more manageable. So why in the world would I go and mess that up with a crying, up all night, giant speed bump on the road to serenity-town?

I know, I know.  Because babies are amazing, and such a gift, and really just fill your heart with a love you never knew you could actually generate.  And they smell so damn good.  And of course you’ll love them to death and as soon as you have one you’ll wonder how your family ever felt complete without little Jet or Coco.

But…if you don’t know what you’re missing…will you miss it?  Deep, right?  And here’s one more thing.  I kind of feel like getting to this place, where my husband and I have raised these two little babies into sweet (mostly), polite (sometimes), little girls is quite an accomplishment.  Something to be proud of.

So when you show up somewhere and the first question you get is “When’s the next one coming?  Are you pregnant right now?”  It can be a little jarring.

It’s like if you just spent four years sweating your butt off to lose twenty pounds.  And you meet someone and you’re showing off the loss of your hard-fought twenty pounds, and they say, “So, when are you going to lose more weight? Right now? Better do it while you’re still kind of young!”  Shut the front door.

Bottom line – I don’t know about the human.  But as soon as I do, I’ll let you know. Okay Mom?



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