A ticket-bearing vigilante has been leaving ‘Parking Violations’ on vehicles in the downtown Fernie area, but don’t panic if you see one of these bright yellow tickets on your windshield, they’re not legitimate.
On Wednesday June 13 a distraught woman came into The Free Press holding a yellow ‘ticket’, which turned out to be nothing more than a rude message, wishing her an abundance of misfortune.
The woman explained that not only was she not parked in a handicapped parking spot, she also never met the person who left the ticket on her car while she was shopping downtown Fernie. After discovering the note, she brought it to the store manager who, surprised, apologized and confirmed that she was not in the wrong.
The ‘ticket’ read:
“PARKING VIOLATION
(Province, B.C. - License Plate Number, etc.)
“This is not a ticket, but if it were within my power, you would receive two. Because of your bull-headed, inconsiderate, feeble attempt at parking, you have taken enough room for a 20 mule team, two elephants, one goat and a safari of pygmies from the African interior.
“The reason for giving you this is so that in the future you may think of someone else, other than yourself. Besides, I don’t like domineering, egotistical or simple-minded drivers and you probably fit into one of these categories.
“I sign off wishing you an early transmission failure (on the expressway at about 4:30 p.m.) Also, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
WITH MY COMPLIMENTS”
And on the back of a letter, another rude message that I won’t repeat.
It astounds me that someone would carry with them a pocket full of these tickets, in the apparent hope to hand them out to ‘deserving drivers’. I’ll admit, I have run into some pretty terrible drivers, but none bad enough that have prompted me to leave a passive aggressive note on their windshield. If someone’s driving bothered me enough, I would approach them and talk to them about it.
So to the person who left the ‘ticket’, I’m sorry. Maybe you had a reason for doing this. Maybe in the past a driver did something very awful to you or someone you loved. Or, maybe you just have a strange sense of humour. However, if you live in the area and see the same vehicle on which you placed this ticket, I would suggest stopping to apologize. I think the wrongfully accused driver would really appreciate it.
editor@thefreepress.ca