By Shelby Cain

Vegas baby. For our 10 year anniversary, my husband and I decided we needed to do something special.  Something that would stand out in our memory.  After going online and pricing everything from a week in Mexico (too long to be away from the kids), to a weekend in Whitefish (not long enough to be away from the kids), we decided on three nights in Vegas.  Sin City.  We had both been to Vegas separately with friends, but never together.  Why not go and rediscover our youth a little?  Within 20 minutes of arriving in Vegas, something hit me like a water balloon on the side of the head.  Wait…that was a water balloon that hit me on the side of the head.  In the shape of a male body part.  Thrown by a middle-aged woman in a leather cropped top holding a briefcase.  Vegas is a place where people go to leave their inhibitions behind.  Break all the rules, and remember the carefree spirit of their formative years.  Unfortunately, this means they end up acting like badly behaved four-year-olds.  I quickly realized the things I tell my kids NOT to do on a daily basis apply to most of the people in Vegas.  I grabbed a scrap of paper and a pen and started to take notes as our three days unfolded.

Rules for Preschool or Vegas

1. Don’t stare.
2. Dress appropriately.
3. Don’t put your hands down your pants in public.
4. Don’t talk to strangers.
5. Don’t eat cake for breakfast.
6. Don’t drop your stuff on the floor assuming someone will pick it up for you.
7. Don’t play in the elevator.  Or on the escalator.
8. Get plenty of rest or you’ll get sick.
9. Eat at least one vegetable a day.
10. Use your inside voice.
11. Don’t stand on the table.
12. Don’t hang from the curtains.  They’ll rip.
13. Don’t drink from other people’s drinks.
14. Don’t jump on the bed.  Especially with your shoes on.
15. Wait your turn.
16. Don’t laugh when someone falls down.
17. Don’t do something you know is wrong, just because other people are doing it.
18. Don’t walk on the road in your bare feet.
19. Don’t eat things off the floor.
20. Watch where you’re swinging that thing.

If you’re planning to go to Vegas, you may want to freshen up on these rules before you go.  Or don’t… and have the time of your life.  Just don’t tell your kids.