Although she lives in a house perched above Columbia Lake, near Windermere Daneve McAffer wants to become a member of The Elk Valley and Area Hospice. As a veteran instructor of palliative care she facilitated a Bereavement Companioning training course this past weekend for local volunteers. Youngest of us was 31 while the eldest was 74 with eleven others nestled somewhere in between.
Bereavement refers to the fact of loss. Generally associated with death we were reminded that any loss is a loss and can be equally profound; loss of a job, separation/divorce from a relationship, death of a pet, moving away from the familiar etc. Grief would describe the emotional response to that loss. Some intense feelings that can occur are sadness, shock and numbness, possibly denial and anger. We don’t often have control of, or know how to process the deluge of emotions that can roil inside us until they erupt. That is what the course was about, learning to guide someone experiencing overwhelming emotions (any intensity of emotions) to effectively manage them.
What an honor to have been in the presence of so many compassionate people, ironically learning to be more compassionate. The mental exercises we performed highlighted the depth and breadth of bravery, understanding and honesty of my fellow participants. We now have easy to use tools for helping others experiencing a difficult time in their life. As previously stated, a loss of any kind can be a catastrophic event in life. Helping someone navigate their pain is not an easy task however, it is a fundamental element of our daily life.
Helping someone navigate their pain is not insurmountable to learn. Like the ubiquitous What To Expect When You’re Expecting is the ‘bible’ to read while pregnant, companioning the bereaved is the bible for dealing with loss. When empowered to deal with uncomfortable situations we tend to face them with more confidence. That is a gift you can give your self and kids, your siblings, neighbours and friends when they are faced with loss.
You can contact Jade at Elk Valley Hospice the coordinator at elkvalleyhospice@gmail.com or leave a message at ext 38109 when you call the hospital at 250-423-4453. Call Jade or write to find out how to get a copy of Dr. Alan Wolfelt’s book, to sign up for the next workshop, to learn more about Hospice and how it can help you, (or how you can help Hospice). Join us for the AGM on Tuesday April 30, 6:00 pm in the Park Place Lodge, to meet some incredibly caring people and to find out what Hospice is really all about.
DonnaMarie Burak-Young